A Bull In Our Bathroom AT 6:30 AM!!!

YIKES - I got up to go to the bathroom at 6:30 this morning, was sitting on the john and heard a weird noise outside the window right next to me. When I looked out, a HUGE cow animal with HUGE THICK curved horns was looking back, breathing distance away!!!!!!

He didn't seem as shocked at me as I was at him, and then continued to munch on the base of an aloe vera tree - those little aloe vera plants we have at home grow to be as big as palm trees here!! I swear he was a bull, but our guide laughed hysterically at me when I told him and told me it is just a cow - RIGHT!!!

We slep in our first Zulu hut last night - very unusual and cosy. They were mud in the old days, but these ones are made of cement, but otherwise are exactly the same as they have been made for hundreds of years! The sound of roosters crowing woke us up at daylight, folloed by MANY bleeting goats!!!

Thatched roof which is very cozy inside - inside you have the bent branches that are all tied together with rope and then the thatch is laid on top of that. DON't light a match!!!!

Funny thing is, the bed was one of the best we've had. All of the furniture is traditional. LIving in the round is a bit different. The bedroom is one mid-sized room, and then the roundness continues into a largish bathroom. The front door is a split Dutch style door, mosquito netting over the bed, lamps that have warrior sheilds as the base (not as cool as those Bordello lamps!!) and a cool Zulu painting on the headboard (all these pictures will follow is one huge pack - probably not 'til we get to Mala Mala at Kruger Park, which will be sometime tomorrow night.

We saw the whole Zulu dance ceremony last night - AMAZING - the dancing is incredible (I made a point of looking under the men's skins, you know me, 'cause traditionally they wore nothing under these, but damn, progress has gone too far, and they had little black shorts on!!!! I was waiting for this dance to see if the black myth is true!!!). The female dancers were not topless either - poor Tom - don't know if it is because they would have frozen their boobs off it was so cold, or, more likely, modern times. They had short beaded skirts and beaded bras!

Women are not thin, actually some real meat on their bones, but can they dance and kick their legs higher than their heads in a fast frenzy!!

Some of the men were quite slim, but the best one was a bit older, had a paunch, would bug out his eyes in a real spooky way, and was my fav. Looked kinda like you, Ron!!!!

They did all their traditional ceremonies, including the beer making one. Then passed the bowl of beer around with everyone drinking out of the same spoon - AAAACH - you know me and the hygiene thing I have - I won't take communion wine because everyone else has spit in it and it is viral stew!! Well, I sure as hell was not going to swap gawd knows what with a bunch of tourists so that I could get to try out my antibiotic I brought with me!!! Tom passed too - nurse at the Travellers Clinic in Edmonton scared him enough he has been following the rules - didn't even play with dogs here!!!

Before the dance ceremony we visited various traditional huts - the kitchen hut, the beer making hut, the medicine hut etc. It was pissing rain, and the red soil here was total muck. Dark as hell since we are in the middle of Nowhere, Zululand!! They had some torches to light the way, but we tripped at few times - I now have red brown shoes.

After all this we had dinner - VERY good. These people eat!!!! There was traditional food and regular food. The women here are none too thin, so it must be OK, so I tried some of most things!!! The chicken was the best I've ever had. Everything was superb.

I felt bad for our guide China - we thought he must be staying here, but at supper he left to stay in some little village (me thinks 5 houses) 20 km. from here. The road into this place is dirt and last night it was flooded over in some places!!!

Last night after supper I did have some gut trouble, and I was VERY VERY tired, almost to the point of being a tad concerned that I might be getting sick - think it also had to do with the fact that I knew if I did it was a witch doctor here only!!!!

We am wondering if the malaria pills are perhaps affecting us a bit - Tom has also had some stomach weirdness and diarrhea.

I decided to take my friend DiAnn's great advice again - she's "been here, done that" and take a rest morning today. There was a spear making ceremony and a couple of other things, but I chose to sleep in, have a hot bath, wash my hair (Debra, your hair looking great is not a frequent happening when travelling here - I've had the odd day, but many days you just relay on many clips, and you know how I am fussy about my hair - I know, high maintenace, but I'm learning!!).

A Zulu warrior (???) woke us at the door at 7, Tom went to breakfast, and, bless his heart, brought me back some fruit and yogurt, a banana (different ones here - Laura, more like the ones in HAwaii!)and I had that in bed before my bath. I feel MUCH better now - you have to listen to your body I find on this kind of trip when you are on the go all the time. Especially when you moc=ve every 2 days, or, like now, every day. Thanks God though, we both have felt very well and healthy, except for the stomach thing the last few days.

The coolness has bee good (I know I bitched a lot about the cold when I got here, but I have adjusted) Ellen, it is going to be very hot here in Jan. Feb. - likely 30 - 45 C. When you are in coastal places ie Cape Town it will be cooler next to the water, about mid 20's!!! No Air Cond. here - people are shocked when you ask and they say "this is Africa" by that you are supposed to know that it is not affordable.

Even people with money don't use the phone much, don't heat much, and don't dry clothes much (they line dry) because of the cost. We feel like millionaires here when we compare how we live at home.

Our Zulu guide, China, is the best. He is 35 and a lovely man. Today after lunch he will take us to Simune, another Zulu experience. Last night when I was feeling a bit sick I really didn't want to go, but today the sun has come out, the rain has stopped and I am looking forward to going.

Simune is a different type of Zulu experience. This is the one that you can only take in 1 overnight case (it's killing me - my hair products take that much room!!).

You arrive at a security senter where you leave all your other luggage (yes Laura, I'm taking your tanznite with me just in case!!!) where a guard will watch it, and then the last hour into Simune you can choose between going in on horseback (Dr. Simon my physio at Kinsmen - I won't do that - you couldn't put me back together again!!), or by ox cart, which China tells me will be VERY TIRING - GREAT - kinda like a choice between a migraine or stomach flu!!!!!!!

A tour guide with a groupd of Dutch people told us at dinner last night that she has had groupd there and they had a FEW 4x4 for the old and infirm. Hell, you know what a great actress I can be - just watch how OLD AND INFIRM I can look!!!

Well, I'm off to lunch now. We have so many amazing pix that we can't wait to put on here, but the computer system will change at Mala Mala and I'll do a whole Zulu photo post.

I might be able to find a computer at Simune - right now I am in the Reception Roundavel in a back rrom - kinda like an office, but with 2 animal skin warrior swords -probably the dancers, propped next to me!!!! The lack of heat and computers would make me freakin' mental here.

And I hope you appreciate how long it takes to do a post - the computers ae S-L-O-W!

Just to get into a site take forever. My njtk@telusplanet.net says that it is overloaded, but I have gone in here to get my messages and delete and it would take 3 days - just to wait for the delet takes 20 min., then you read 10 more message - after waiting for them to come up for 15 min. and so on!!!! As my friend Paula says to me always "you have no f***ing patience" and she's right - this makes me WILD!!!!

OK, off to Simune - you might here from there, but no promises. We are there just for tonight and tomorrow morning 'til checkout at noon probably, then off back to Durban to fly out to Kruger Park and Mala Mala later tomorrow.

Please God spare me from the luggage Nazi and his weigh scale tonight - I swear, if he gets that thing out I will feed him to the bathroom bull!!!!

See you later!!! Love, N-J & Tommy!!!

China to Zululand!!!!

This morning our private guide/driver picked us up at Janes in Durban to take us to Shakaland in Zulu.

His name is China, the nicest fellow. He is black, 35, engaged and very smart and personable. It is raining like hell - kinda disapoointing, but Africa isn't lush for no reason - they do get rain.

This is spring. We have had mainly nice sunny 20ish days. And I finally warmed up - actually totally adjusted, and have been feeling fine in cold houses!!!

Angela, at Mala Mala at Kruger Park arranged this whole part of the trip for us. She told us our private driver would pick us up in a LIMOSINE at JAnes at 10 am Sat.

Weeeelllll, the limo is a Toyota Corolla - RIGHT, and we have a BIT OF LUGGAE. The poor guy is about my height and 125 pounds - I could see the blood vessels busting in his eyes as he loaded our stuff.

He is Zulu, so gave us a great education driving out on the culture etc. He speaks 6 African languages!!!

The greatest thing EVER EVER EVER, while still in Durban he took us to a public market that was AMAZING. Gary and Denise would have had a fit if they knew we were there, I'm sure, but we were very safe. It has a zillion shops/stals, mainly run by East Indians and Asians - weird. There are spice stalls with pyramids of spice that you would only see in Morocco.

Anyway, we just got here, checked into our "rondavel" - round, thatched roof house, it is pourinr rain, the goats are hiding under tables, or anaything else they can find. I'm using the computer in the office - no wireless here baby!!! It is quite an experience.

I will get back to you tomorrow after the dinner tonight, the dance ceremony, after the chief welcomes us to his home etc. We are wet, the goats are wwet, but the flavor and tribal feel is amazing. It feels like we're living 100 years ago.

Great photos next time I can rob some computer time - probably tomorrow in this same office!!! The goats are bleating louder - think it's supper time!!!!

LUv, N-j!

Spelling Errors and Durban!!!

First, I know I have a lot of spelling errors, which piss me off too, but understand, I'm always doing this on the run, often on someone elses computer in some weird location. I really feel like Chritianne Amanpour - my hero, and who I hope to be when I grow up!!!!

WE got to Durban in a little small-ass seat mini plane, but they came along at one point and gave Tom and I what looked like a box of Pot of Gold chocolates. Kinda a weird snack (compared to WestJets mini bag of pretzels, but hell after the night I had had with the Weighing Nazi, I was ready for a fried skunk!!

We hesitated to take the whole flippin' box, looked puzzled, and the the steward said it was supper - my gawd, a whole supper in a box for a 1 hour flight!!!!

It was a nice bun, 2 slices of nice cucumber, a nice cherry tomato, 4 pieces of kinda nice cold potatoe (salad, I guess!) A NASTY, NASTY, NASTY square of meatball, and a mini piece of cake. I wadded all the stuff together in the bun, covered the nasty meat with my napkin, and it wasn't half bad!!!!

We stayed Thursday and Friday night at the home of our travelling friend Denise's sister-in-law, Jane and Manuel. A beautiful home with a wild wookland view, with mondys and sun birds, a swimming pool (too bad it rained and was cool both days).

They were amazing hosts - Jane made amazing meals, MAvis, the "domestic" who comes 4 days a week (Ic could handle that!!) did all our dirty laundry, and on Friday night we had Janes family over, including son Cameron who was in Edmonton for 7 years with Gary and Denise, and we love him!!! Laughed a lot, told jokes, and had a wonderful time - they are such a kind, warm family. I hope they all come visit us in Canada.

WE picked up Denises 87 yr old mom on Sat. to take her for lunch and see the sights. My gut has been absolutely amazing the whole time here - not one attack or cramp. The food is fabulous - very fresh and homemade in every restaurant we've been to. But this was a restaurant in an old boat. It smelled rather moldy when we went in, but I order Teriaki Norwegian salmon and it was terrible - greasy and not great. Consequently, I had a gut attack afterwards. Hell of a time too, we were at a very Africa themed shopping area where I could have done some damage!!! God saving Tom again.

Went home, had a sleep for a couple of hours and felt better. Started taking our Malaria pills on Thursday night. I was a bit concerned about side effects, but so far so good.

On Sat. morning we will be picked up by a private driver to go for our adventure in Zululand. Tom, I know, bought his mile long telephoto lens for the topless Zulu women dancing, but I bought my new Fuji zoom camera for the Zulu dudes with the lin cloths - we can only hope for a REALLY windy day!!!!!

More pix and posts to come. I can hear the zulu drus beating from here!!!!!

The Post That Flew Away!!!!!

Damn! This past Wed. night we were in Kynsna, a wonderful seaside vacation spot, staying at an incredible guest house where our palatial room overlooked an ocean (Indian ocean) cove, waves pounding in!

It was maganificent - luxurious, comfortable,sat in the living room of the house with a fire going, watching the sea, drinking guava juice, coffee and of course South African rusks!!

This was the room with the HUGE bathroom that included a swimming pool length bath tub - well if you're 5' 2"a that is - I could actually float in it. And get this, it was surrounded by glass that looked out on the headlands sea cove with the waves pounding etc. - I bathed non-stop!!

The guest house was on the side of a mountain with many huge homes - vacations homes mainly for rich people from Africa, Russia and Europe - amazing. At the very top of the mountain was a castle sized mansion, overlooking the whole expanse of the Indian Ocean, but it sits empty. Yup, seems it was built be some rich-ass Russian - maybe he was head of the KGB, and then they decided not to live there. We've put in a "stink" bid, but doubt that it will be accepted

It was our last of 2 nights in Knynsa, and tyhe last night anywhere is always hell because we have to pack everything up AGAIN!!! OK, and maybe I did shop a bit again, so it's the old push, shove, squash into the case and then Tom and I sit on it to compress everything - very effective.

I sat down to write a post here for you all at 11:30 pm, and wrote until !2:30 am. When I went to click on "publish post" I had a weird feeling that it wasn't going to go - that it was going to fly away (I've had so daaaamn much computer problems here that I am jumpy every time!!!).

I was tired, really tired, we had a very laong drive to Durban the next day, and I was wanting to kill Tom!!!

I now totally believe that it was God's way of being kind to alter boy Tom, because I had spent most of the post bitching (NO, not me!!) about Tom and that Damn luggage weigh scale that I ACTUALLY BOUGHT HIM before we left!!! He morphed in the suitcase Nazi - weighing, weighing, and weighing!!!!! He gets his knickers in a knot for 2 pounds over - so the hell what, I told him. We were taking a smaller airline from Port Elizabeth to Durban, domestic class, and he is such a ninny when it comes to BSing over loads onto the plane.

I actually had to phone my Super Friend Ron to get words of support that evening - Ron, who has travelled Africa and understands that it is all about $$$$$ in these 3rd world countries - plunk $1,000.00 down and you can take a rhino home with you!!!
Ron could bull shit a Hollywood film crew and 6 metal camera cases onto a Cessna, no problem!!!!

Soooo, after getting good tips from uberfriend Ron, I tell Tom the plan is emergency drama - something no airline wants either in its waiting line or on the plane. I told him when we got to the counter and they came on with the "your overweight, sir (like we didn't already know that, tee hee!!!!!!!!!), I would fall, sobbing to the floor, and he will loudly say, "Oh no, not another stroke" or something like that!!!

He's a magaician and knows that it is all about mis-direction - they don't want sobbing people around so just push them on the plane!!!

The night got sooooo bad that that, in the middle of the night, I decided I was going to squeeze the air tube shut on his sleep apnea machine in the middle of the night, he would stop brething, I'd put the pillow over his head, then claim it was machine malfunction and still get all the insurance - yup, I hated him that much that night!!!!!

End of story - we got to the airport I SCHMOOSED THE COUNTER LADY UP - TOLD HER HOW WONDERFUL HER SOUTH AFRICAN FLAG SCARF WAS, OOHED AND AAWED THE COUNTRY UP, ETC. AND TOLD HER I WAS GOING INTO REHAB FOR MY SHOPPING ADDICTION WHEN I GOT HOME, BUT COULDN'T SHE HELP ANOTHER WOMAN IN A TIME OF NEED!!!!!!!

Buuta Boom - worked like a damn - she said since we were travelling executive calss for all of our trip, she would forgive a good deal of the weight and charged us for only some - big flippin' deal - Mr. Muscle only had to pay $100.00 CAD and we were out of there. He should thank me more often for my big mouth and PR skill (BS!!)!!

We were off to Durban!!! Going to stay with Denises's sister-in-law ther!!!

Glad I didn't have to snuff the old boy out, he really is a lovely man, and lets me buy jewellery!!!! No pix this time - I have gobs coming though - come back for the color!!

Love you and miss you all, N-J, the African Shopping Queen!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

The Bordello!!!!

We have spendt the last 2 days/nights in a lovely seaside town by the name of George!

Up until now all 4 of us have stayed at the same guest houses. Our friends that we are travelling with have an old friend here in George, and we were all invited to stay with her for 2 nights - lovely lady and lovely offer!!!

When we were in the last stay, Hermanus, Tom and I decided it would be better to let our friends be alone with their friend - they had 20 years to catch up on - and we also wanted some time just to ourselves - you know, the "hot honeymoon nights"!!!!

Well, we ended up in the right place - THE BORDELLO!!! It's actually called The Acorn Guest House, but me thinks the owner used to run a bordello and borrowed her decorating style from there.

The good points: it is a very large room with all facilities (microwave, fridge etc),
It has a huge oval jacuzzi tub - exactly the size of mine back home! Up until now the bath tubs in the guest houses have been long, but "wedge your ass in" narrow - not just my ass either, Tom too, and his ass is much smaller than mine!!!!

I does have jacuzzi jets, but you all know that I am the hygiene freaks and I have read TONS of articles on the beasties that live in those jets, especially if they're not maintained regularly! There is no bars of soap, however, just a half bottle of some pink, yuk smelling liquid soap - oh well, it works!!!

The floor is huge black and white square tiles - kinda trendy again today!!!!

The casual chairs are RED - but I love red - the bed throw pillows are all VELVET and red. Then there are the blankets!!!!!!!! At least we got 2 of them, BUT, not sure if they are mouse fur, or, more likely a native animal - like kuru or rat or sloth - I don't know - actually they are synthetic but awful. You know those studies that show how much semen is on bedspreads, well I can only imagine how much is on these "beasty blankets"

The bedside lamps are discolored gold dead babies (think they're called cherubs, with some lovely crystal, and the kid is holding up a lampshade, silk, covered with white OSTRICH feathers (a mini boa) - of course this is ostrich farm country, so.....

The art she brought from the bordello. A Modern job of 2 nude people that have seen a few too many calories too!!!! Then the black and white HUGE photo called "American Girl in Italy, 1951". Basicaly a 1951 well fitted out babe walking down the street in Italy and a bunch of guys undressing her with their eyes - one on a Vespa!!

Oh, did I mention the chandelier in the BATHROOM and the TWO chandiliers over the bed, and the HUGE fundko mirror over the jacuzzi tub, and the RED floral curtains??

My favorite might be the "Road Kill" duvet rolled at the bottom of the bed. Now, I've been cold a lot, but I know that puppy has teeth somewhere and I'm NOT pulling it up. It kinda looks like it might have come from Jasp, like Tommy!!! Dark fur - or maybe from one of those old white back gorillas - a beauty!!

OK, the advantage of the chandeliers we found is that when you swing from them and fall, it is a soft landing. The bathroom and the funko mirror gave too many fantasy options that we couldn't try 'caue the high ceiling made it so that we couldn't get on the chandelier even with a chair - too bad!!!!!

The pictures tell it all. The "Road Kill" duvet makes a lovely buffalo tribal robe on me, reminiscent of our NA indian pow wows!!!

Well, as Willie says, we're "on the road again" today going to Kynsyna (pronounced Nysner). I'm exhausted - have to squeeze so much into every day. DiAnn, you wrned me of this - today might be a rest day for me.