The Post That Flew Away!!!!!

Damn! This past Wed. night we were in Kynsna, a wonderful seaside vacation spot, staying at an incredible guest house where our palatial room overlooked an ocean (Indian ocean) cove, waves pounding in!

It was maganificent - luxurious, comfortable,sat in the living room of the house with a fire going, watching the sea, drinking guava juice, coffee and of course South African rusks!!

This was the room with the HUGE bathroom that included a swimming pool length bath tub - well if you're 5' 2"a that is - I could actually float in it. And get this, it was surrounded by glass that looked out on the headlands sea cove with the waves pounding etc. - I bathed non-stop!!

The guest house was on the side of a mountain with many huge homes - vacations homes mainly for rich people from Africa, Russia and Europe - amazing. At the very top of the mountain was a castle sized mansion, overlooking the whole expanse of the Indian Ocean, but it sits empty. Yup, seems it was built be some rich-ass Russian - maybe he was head of the KGB, and then they decided not to live there. We've put in a "stink" bid, but doubt that it will be accepted

It was our last of 2 nights in Knynsa, and tyhe last night anywhere is always hell because we have to pack everything up AGAIN!!! OK, and maybe I did shop a bit again, so it's the old push, shove, squash into the case and then Tom and I sit on it to compress everything - very effective.

I sat down to write a post here for you all at 11:30 pm, and wrote until !2:30 am. When I went to click on "publish post" I had a weird feeling that it wasn't going to go - that it was going to fly away (I've had so daaaamn much computer problems here that I am jumpy every time!!!).

I was tired, really tired, we had a very laong drive to Durban the next day, and I was wanting to kill Tom!!!

I now totally believe that it was God's way of being kind to alter boy Tom, because I had spent most of the post bitching (NO, not me!!) about Tom and that Damn luggage weigh scale that I ACTUALLY BOUGHT HIM before we left!!! He morphed in the suitcase Nazi - weighing, weighing, and weighing!!!!! He gets his knickers in a knot for 2 pounds over - so the hell what, I told him. We were taking a smaller airline from Port Elizabeth to Durban, domestic class, and he is such a ninny when it comes to BSing over loads onto the plane.

I actually had to phone my Super Friend Ron to get words of support that evening - Ron, who has travelled Africa and understands that it is all about $$$$$ in these 3rd world countries - plunk $1,000.00 down and you can take a rhino home with you!!!
Ron could bull shit a Hollywood film crew and 6 metal camera cases onto a Cessna, no problem!!!!

Soooo, after getting good tips from uberfriend Ron, I tell Tom the plan is emergency drama - something no airline wants either in its waiting line or on the plane. I told him when we got to the counter and they came on with the "your overweight, sir (like we didn't already know that, tee hee!!!!!!!!!), I would fall, sobbing to the floor, and he will loudly say, "Oh no, not another stroke" or something like that!!!

He's a magaician and knows that it is all about mis-direction - they don't want sobbing people around so just push them on the plane!!!

The night got sooooo bad that that, in the middle of the night, I decided I was going to squeeze the air tube shut on his sleep apnea machine in the middle of the night, he would stop brething, I'd put the pillow over his head, then claim it was machine malfunction and still get all the insurance - yup, I hated him that much that night!!!!!

End of story - we got to the airport I SCHMOOSED THE COUNTER LADY UP - TOLD HER HOW WONDERFUL HER SOUTH AFRICAN FLAG SCARF WAS, OOHED AND AAWED THE COUNTRY UP, ETC. AND TOLD HER I WAS GOING INTO REHAB FOR MY SHOPPING ADDICTION WHEN I GOT HOME, BUT COULDN'T SHE HELP ANOTHER WOMAN IN A TIME OF NEED!!!!!!!

Buuta Boom - worked like a damn - she said since we were travelling executive calss for all of our trip, she would forgive a good deal of the weight and charged us for only some - big flippin' deal - Mr. Muscle only had to pay $100.00 CAD and we were out of there. He should thank me more often for my big mouth and PR skill (BS!!)!!

We were off to Durban!!! Going to stay with Denises's sister-in-law ther!!!

Glad I didn't have to snuff the old boy out, he really is a lovely man, and lets me buy jewellery!!!! No pix this time - I have gobs coming though - come back for the color!!

Love you and miss you all, N-J, the African Shopping Queen!!!!!!